How to Deal With Anger Management and Hostility

Poor Anger management and hostility signals your body to prepare for a fight. When you get angry, adrenalin and other hormones are released into your bloodstream. Your blood pressure, pulse, and respiration rate all go up. Anger is a normal response to daily events. It is the appropriate response to any situation that poses a threat. Anger can be directed to become a positive, driving force behind your actions. Hostility is being ready for a fight all the time. Continual hostility keeps your blood pressure high and may increase your risk for heart attack and other illnesses. Being hostile also isolates you from other people.

Anger management treatment at home.

When confronted with a situation that might trigger an angry response, ask yourself:  Is this really important enough to get angry about?

  1. Am I justified in getting angry?
  2. Will getting angry really make a difference?

Try to understand the real reason why you are angry. Is it the current situation that is making you angry or something that happened at some earlier time?  Notice when you start to become angry, and take steps to deal with your anger in a positive way. Don't ignore your anger until you "blow up."  Count to 10 or practice some other form of mental relaxation. When you have calmed down, you will be better able to discuss the conflict rationally. 

Here are 4 cool down methods once anger creeps up.

  1.  Try screaming or yelling in a private place, not at other people.
  2. Go for a short walk or jog
  3. Talk about your anger with a friend.
  4.  Draw or paint to release the anger, or write about it in a journal.

Use "I" statements, not "you" statements, to discuss your anger. Say "I feel angry when my needs are not being met," instead of "You make me mad when you are so inconsiderate." If you are angry with someone, listen to what the other person has to say. Try to understand his or her point of view. Forgive and forget. Forgiving helps lower blood pressure and ease muscle tension so you can feel more relaxed. In all reality, you have no control over others or how they think about you. Read books about anger management and how to handle it.

When to get professional anger management help.

  1. If anger has led or could lead to violence or harm to you or someone else.
  2. If anger or hostility interferes with your work, family life, or friendships.

Lack of anger management can culminate into violence. Violence begins with relatively minor incidents, but over time it can evolve into physical outbursts and violent behavior.

Violent behavior is both physically and emotionally damaging. Violent behavior includes physical, verbal, or sexual abuse of an intimate partner (domestic violence), a child (child abuse), or an older adult (elder abuse).  Violence stems from our inability to control our anger and hostility toward other factors in our life.  We don't set out to harm others generally, yet at times we "lose control" and violent behavior manifests itself.

Violence causes more injury and death in children, teenagers, and young adults than infectious disease, cancer, or birth defects. Murder, suicide, and violent injury are the leading causes of death in children. Violence with guns is one of the leading causes of death of children and teenagers in the United States.


If you are angry or hostile or if you have violent behavior, it is important to find help before this behavior gets out of hand and uncontrollable. You can learn ways to control your feelings and and most importantly your actions.  It's important to investigate where this anger and hostility comes from.  How can you control something that doesn't have a root cause?

Check your symptoms to decide if and when you should seek professional help, if there is any question as to whether you should or not... you should.